Why I'm not an Olympic athlete

If I were to hear the theme from Jaws when I got into the pool, I'd look around for the fin signaling the approach of my death. When Heather Petri, a member of the US water polo team, hears this music, she feels like a shark.

The Chinese Olympic organizers thought it would be a kick to play the theme song at the beginning of each polo match.*  Petri rather likes the touch:

“It kind of fires me up. I feel like a shark.”

And that's why she's an Olympian and I'm not.

*They also have an old lady who goes around the beach volleyball courts to catch the moths that gather at the night games.  She is called Ms. Bug Catcher.